Once the day has started, I shall be in the greatest mood ever! <33

Maybe not. I have sooo many things on my mind I have no idea where to start. I guess i could go with how church went. Which was good, but then mysterious. There is this new guy that’s been going and I still have yet to figure out who he is. I’ve seen him around for somewhere around a month to a month and a half. But now that I think about it, I’m wasting time writing about him. On to another subject. Hmm. OH YEAH! >.> I met a guy and his name is Brett. He’s super sweet and always manages to start a playful arguements that consist of the “nuh uh!” and “uh huh!”. x) He makes me feel all warm and bubbly inside. <3 Although we haven’t talked in a while. I’m not sure if it’s due to something I said or he just hasn’t paid his cell phone bill. I mean I don’t think it would be something I said, but I have this feeling it is. “/ And an entrance made by my mother will now bring this pointless nonsense to an end. So until next time, stay in drugs, eat your school, and don’t do veggies! <3 It’s a trip to read that. 

                                                                          -TheJack :D

So today decided that I would start using my tumblr. again since I am starting to feel the need to vent…A LOT!! My day was kind of slow to start off with, but it didn’t take long for someone to brighten up my day. School..what a drag. But it only becomes a drag when the classes I hate are more uninteresting than usual. Thank God for my wonderful friends in the classes though. But even then, they can only let me forget my life at home for just 10 hours of the day. No sooner than when I get home, do I feel so alone. Sure there’s 5 other people here, but they’re all so entertained with each other that they don’t even know I’m here. But the one who only talks to me when they need something: Elisha/my mom. I don’t like calling her mom because to her, I’m just one of the biggest mistakes that she made, and how do I know? Simple because of the fact that most daughters aren’t 14 to 15 years apart from them. I’d already lost what respect I had for her when she left me a 3rd time when I was a Freshman. Boy was I hurt. After she left, she had the nerve to say that I would be happier in the hell hole she was moving to. But enough about her. Now I’m moving on to how I discovered an entry in a diary I wrote not too long ago. 

  It reads:

Saturday 8/27/11

12:46 AM

  So a couple of hours ago I met this guy who was super cute!! Too bad Diana was already talking to him. And I, the smart one, was dumb enough to believe that she didn’t really see him that way and told her. Instead if hearing the usual fake “AWW!!” and laugh line, I received a “Back off woman!!”. I guess it was kind of obvious that i had stupidity slapped across my face when I said that, but, and I thank God for this, the lights were off. It also didn’t help that she told him about it and he responded with, “You’re not my number one, you’re my ONLY one!! <3”. Yeah. Giant palm slap to the face. Soo not cool. But after this, I think I’m just going to keep to myself. I mean there’s just no point in trying so hard everytime, only to be knocked back down to square 1. For some reason, I feel like I’m slowly fading away. I’m no where near the same person last year. Everything about and around me has changed significantly. I feel so alone when I’m at lunch even though I’m surrounded by a sea of people. I just don’t know anymore. I’ve made quite a bit of new friends. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just this way because of the boy. I also hope this year guys can see me as something other than the “cool” girl that chills with them. Homecoming is arriving soon so maybe someone will ask me to go with them. Pfft! Yeah right, who am I kidding? I’m getting my hopes up too high. It really bothers me. Hah! Just when I think I could be brightened up by listening to some music, “If I Die Young” starts playing. Figures. Until then, I’ll be wishing and hoping for a miracle to happen.

                                                                       -Jacqueline Molina :|

By the way, I never did get asked to homecoming. :/ Instead, I was made fun of for not having anyone to go with…Again. It really sucks to be me right now, and even as I write this with blurred vision from tears, I know it’ll never change. 

So until the tears dry, or the hurting stops, I’ll be here. 

                                                                  - The Jack :’/

Today I got on omgpop for he first time in a long time. I chatted with a friend I’d met a while back. He’s pretty cool. Sure he’s 3 years older than me, but why judge? There’s simply no point. I don’t care.

SkateItJustin is his username and he’s pretty cool, despite the fact that this is the first time in almost a year I’ve talked to him. I told him about my sexuality and he’s one of the people who accepts me for it. He’s the youngest of 9. I think. I told him I’m the oldest of 4 and he was like cool. Then I asked if he wanted to trade and he says, “Sure. I’ve always wanted to have younger sibs!” 

About 5 minutes ago i went into a chatroom and someone said to speak your feelings and I simply put, “I’m bi…I think”. He replies, “And I accept you for it”. It’s nice to know that there are people out there in the world that accept me for who I am, wether they know me or not.

For those of you who read this, and know me personally, hopefully you will accept me. I’ll accept you and anyone else for who they are. :D And for those of you who don’t, but know me through some other way or form, I’m sure you’ll accept me. And for the complete strangers who just-so-happen to read this, I’m sure if you actually talk to me, you will learn to accept others for who they are.

So until tomorrow, which it’s already tomorrow, but who cares?, goodnight, good morning, or good afternoon. May you have a wonderful life. :]

So today is Day 2 of my blog. I’m still in the process of trying to figure out how to use this.

Last night, for some strange reason, I started thinking about this girl I used to like, no I’m not bi or lesbian but I guess it would make me bi-curious, and I basically broke down into tears. She graduated this year which was sorta sad, but life does go on. I remember the day she found out that I liked her. We were on our way home from a basketball game, she was on JV, and I, of course, was on the Freshman team, and I told one of my, used to be, “friends”. She completely flipped and then told one of my other friends. the chain continued on and ended up with 4 people knowing, including the girl I liked. Although she’d had a girlfriend at the time, she still told my friend to give me her number.

I texted her and told her how I felt, and she told me that she was flattered, but that she had a girlfriend. I knew that at the time, so I did know that it was problably no use in telling her. I remember I had wrote a poem about her during our tutorial period the Monday after and I gave it to her. Well I only had a way to send it through text, and even then I wasn’t planning on giving it to her. She’d asked me how much I liked her, and I put “Enough to write a poem about you.”, sent it, then decided not to, but, with my luck, it sent. So yeah. (I’ll put the poem at the end for anyone who’s reading to read)

A couple weeks ago, before school ended, she and her girlfriend broke up. I felt happy because now I finally ahd a chance, but then at the same time I felt like a complete bitch for feeling that way. I knew that she probably wanted space, even though she and her girlfriend both agreed on the break up. And I know i might sound like a stocker, but I do listen in on other’s conversations, but, no matter what, I keep my mouth shut.

And now for my poem from me, Jacqueline Molina, to Her:

So what was with Friday’s buzz,

Full of irony is what it was.

One thing led to another and ended up with you,

I’m pretty sure that it all seemed out of the blue.

I know this isn’t right for me,

But you brought me the light to let me see.

Even though this is just a crush,

Everything about you just makes my heart rush.

I love your personality, and even your smile,

And hopefully this will last a while.

Change, they say is good, but is this one right?

I wish this question was as easy as flying a kite.

I’m stuck here just asking ymself this question,

Maybe this will be a life lesson.

You are the first of this kind of predicament,

So hopefully this won’t end in an arguemant.

As I sit here and think and wonder what’s next,

I don’t know how to talk to you, not even through text.

And for all of you judgemental people out there, don’t do it. I know someone is bound to put, “Stupid lesbian” or “Fag” and you know what, I don’t give a damn what you have to say. I’ve been made fun of my whole life, and it has yet to end. So go ahead, judge all you want. It won’t make you anymore of a man or woman than you are now.

I’m not too sure how to start this, but here it goes.

My name is Jacqueline, but everyone calls me Jackie, although I do put Jacqueline on all my school papers. I was born January 16, 1996, so that puts me at 15 years of age. I’m one of those laid back, yet serious type of people. I was raised in Victoria, Texas, then when I started school, I moved to a small town called Palacios. Many who know me, would, hopefully, say that I am a good friend, I give good advice, I know how to have fun without the consumption of alcohol, and that I’m outgoing.

So now that I’m done with probably the most boring introduction ever made, let’s get to the point of why I am making a blog. I figured I could give my friends a break with all my problems and telling them what happened everyday by putting it all on here, and maybe get advice from a strangers point fo view on the situations I have.

I’d also like to thank my best guy friend for making my profile for me.

I can also help if anyone who’s reading this has any problems of their own. Just comment and I’ll respond asap.